The types of people someone would cheat with & what you can do about it.

I see many articles about why people cheat. But then I remembered people who are/were repeatedly getting cheated on. Let's get into the "types" of people cheaters - cheat with. (Emotional reasons). Also, I want to apologize in advance for any typos ( if any) , I'm using someone's tablet and the keyboard isn't English ..

#1: unconditional love:
One of the reasons people cheat is because they don't feel they can be themselves. I've come to realize that the people (not going to generalize, but for purposes of order - I will, so please don't get offended). Who get cheated tend to be "uptight", judgemental, extremely strict, among other things. 

Here's an example:
Two years ago I sat down with my cousin and his girlfriend (I seem to have many cousins), and the conversation became as bitter as the black coffee that sat in front of me. Here's how it went down:

Girl friend is talking about some personal issue. Boyfriend is into tarot cards. Girlfriend is not. He pulls out a set, then starts shuffling because he said he uses them to find solutions to issues. I was a bit confused.

 Firstly, I didn't even know what tarot cards were. Second: I thought we were going to play a card game I knew nothing about, hence my confusion. I expressed my confusion, she sighed and rolled her eyes. "Yeah, his crazy tarot card shit *again*". Obviously, I still confused but now I had even more questions - which I pursued. She called us both crazy, then pulled out her phone. I rolled my eyes  at how dismissive she was towards his passion, then watched, as she watched him. Contempt and embarrassment filled her eyes. He sighed and apologized for "embarrassing" her.

 I felt bad because clearly this is something that he truly valued in his life. The subsequent months, his energy levels were high,  but was slowly and surely leaving him. He didn't cheat on her. He just avoided her and spent time with his friends who he felt comfortable with. As you can guess, that relationship ended. There are other examples of this: the neighbor likes to hang out with the other neighbors because around his wife he needs to be a complete goody goody around her, if he isn't - she emotionally punishes him. He can't swear, none of that simple little stuff. Many went to say she was "uptight".

It's good to set your boundaries, but you're making them feel judged, if you don't show interested in what makes their hearts dance, and you shut them down, don't be surprised if they find someone who makes them feel free, loved and valued. Or, like the other guys in the above examples.

If you want to do something about this:
then be the least judgemental person,  you can go as far as showing them unconditional love. However, you need a balance. After all, there is a reason why many people stay with "uptight" people. It could be for two reasons: respect,ß stating boundaries, and the feeling of security,  or they really want to gain the approval of this person...
-----
2. Don't make them feel sexy anymore
I see this so often!! Usually the partner who gets cheated is very kind, romantic, and expresses their love towards their mind and soul. While this is all Grand -  most people want to feel lusted (don't know if that's a word), after. Unfortunately that's why you see people cheating with someone who seems like a complete asshole (only wanting sex).

The solution here is obvious. Do all. Lust and love all of them. I'd provide an example, but this one is straight forward.
-----
3. Carefree person
This isn't true for everyone. Just needed to put that out there before I continued this point.
If someone is experiencing difficulties regarding responsibility, e.g. paying bills, new baby. There are a few things that could result: the person withdraws, they nag, fight, or become extremely clingy.
Let's use nagging as an example: If the person keeps nagging, the person may feel too much pressure, and just wanted a break - and some appreciation for their efforts. If this "nag" isn't doing this, and they find someone who does - they'll probably become dependent (during these tough times).
-----
The only solution to this is like any other post. You must understand their needs. If you apply all of this, you need to have a mixture of all personas. For the first one: place your boundaries but show interest, participate in events that mean something to them - show your support.
#2, make them feel sexy. Everyone has a different perception of what sexy means to them. Appreciate all parts of them. Body, mind, heart, soul.
#3: mix realty with fantasy.

Popular posts from this blog

Creating codependent partners; building patterns.

Psychoanalysis book issue (please comment)

How to spread rumors pt 2. (The right way)